I wanted to make something with substance, something that spoke to people, something that was powerful and moving...I wanted to express my feelings about gender differences and limitations, about race, class divides, and intimate relationships and the list goes on and on...
When I started to try and hone in on just one thing I couldn't, it was all too broad and I felt woefully ignorant of it all. I have not lived a life with enough struggle to feel worthy of even trying to make some bold statement about these things in my series. But there is one thing I am certain of: I am a girl, and a woman, and someday perhaps I will be a wife and a mother and being female is something I can understand and explore.
For my series, I chose to focus on an area teaming with female dominance, my sorority and my sisters. At first, I felt myself questioning my choice of subject, because I was worried about what others would think, and whether they would take it seriously. Then I realized something, I was not creating this work for others, I was creating it for myself.
I have been wrestling with the purpose of pledging and the effects it has on individuals, especially myself and others within my sorority. Was it really beneficial? Why was it done? Why could some make it through with only shedding a few tears, while others were puddles on the floor? Did my sisters share all of my basic emotions when they went through it? Or were our reactions all different? Why do young women put themselves through such emotional pain and frustration? Why did I? Did going through pledging make me a weaker or a stronger person?
During my shoots I asked each of the girls to focus on their memories and emotions from pledging. I did several shoots with my 35mm SLR, and the pictures I chose spoke to me because I saw in them that fear , frustration, pain, anger and intense scrutiny that I felt and that others had felt as well. I still have not answered all of these questions, but this series offers a look at my emotional analysis of these women and what effects pledging has had on myself and others.
When I started to try and hone in on just one thing I couldn't, it was all too broad and I felt woefully ignorant of it all. I have not lived a life with enough struggle to feel worthy of even trying to make some bold statement about these things in my series. But there is one thing I am certain of: I am a girl, and a woman, and someday perhaps I will be a wife and a mother and being female is something I can understand and explore.
For my series, I chose to focus on an area teaming with female dominance, my sorority and my sisters. At first, I felt myself questioning my choice of subject, because I was worried about what others would think, and whether they would take it seriously. Then I realized something, I was not creating this work for others, I was creating it for myself.
I have been wrestling with the purpose of pledging and the effects it has on individuals, especially myself and others within my sorority. Was it really beneficial? Why was it done? Why could some make it through with only shedding a few tears, while others were puddles on the floor? Did my sisters share all of my basic emotions when they went through it? Or were our reactions all different? Why do young women put themselves through such emotional pain and frustration? Why did I? Did going through pledging make me a weaker or a stronger person?
During my shoots I asked each of the girls to focus on their memories and emotions from pledging. I did several shoots with my 35mm SLR, and the pictures I chose spoke to me because I saw in them that fear , frustration, pain, anger and intense scrutiny that I felt and that others had felt as well. I still have not answered all of these questions, but this series offers a look at my emotional analysis of these women and what effects pledging has had on myself and others.
I liked reading about your insights, thoughts and concerns. It is good to ask yourself questions. It creates self-awareness and this is growth as a person.
ReplyDeleteI love these pictures and the lighting/shadows in them. I'm really happy that you put the link on facebook. It's really interesting why you chose the pictures that you did (last written paragraph). Great job!!!
ReplyDelete